mermaid tales

2010-02-09T08:59:00.000-08:00

today calls for:
walks in the rain
big nest like hair
possibly hanging out with a boy from my poetry class
my last bowl
new pack of menthols
watching Margot play
and too much math homework

last night Sarah, this lovely girl with dreads and tree limbs, and Jackie, an awesome girl with great tattoos and glasses, came over. we smoked zongs and bowls and a few orange hookahs. Jackie shared her tall cans of beer and we half watched things online and talked happily. After they left Alicia and I ate ice cream and enjoyed Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Later, the words of Huxley, of Brave New World lulled me to sleep.

Alex was here this last weekend. it was interesting and strange and nice. there was a ghostly terribly beautiful snow storm on Alex's way up here. he didn't arrive till after 8pm. i bought whiskey so it was waiting for him-so we took shots. around 10pm we ventured out to Beth's birthday party. Beth is terribly cute with naturally red hair and a lovely voice. it was a lovely beautiful sight seeing all the snow but a bit scary. we arrived and opted for a safer parking space and walked a block or so to the party. the snow was like this beautiful abandonment. we arrived at a yellow house and was welcomed in. girls sitting on couches with their knees pulled close to their chests. a boy with bright blood nest of curls introduced himself to me and blinked his half open blue eyes. games of beer bong were int he kitchen and down stairs was for smoking. we drank whiskey from the bottle and tired to play word games with drunk boys. we went up stairs and saw beth, sarah, jackie, and her girl friend.

the living room had grown into one big heart. everyone danced and swayed and hopped around. after a few more swigs i joined the mechanism. i felt perfect. i smiled at Alex across the room and Alicia outside smoking a cigarette in the snow.

later we giggled with Beth and she kept saying how she was so happy to see us. i met another girl with red hair who looked like a movie star and begged to get in a fist fight while she laughed. another girl came up to me and called me "goddamn beautiful" and kissed my hand. a boy with long brown hair packed a bowl and i gave Beth shotguns.

we left shortly after giggling and so drunk and happy. alex and alicia holding me on both sides as i giggled. we stopped at a grocery store to buy beer and stopped to stare at the falling snow. we went home and fell down snow hills. alicia lost her key and i had left mine at home. alex had to break a window for us to break in. but we didn't care! nothing could break our spirits!

things are good. things are nice! things are great!

2009-09-06T08:40:00.000-07:00

the goings on of my life lately:

now in words:

falling onto beds, red wine, lovely back porch conversations, too many free ciggies, scrabble games, the art of a Friday night, beach trips, driving in the dark, feet out windows, smoking blunts in an abondon boat, long walks to lost gas stations, stumbly steps, falling into ditches, get locked out of houses, laughing so hard, you four just getting me getting me getting me, CocoRosie, hummus, mancala, catching waves, surf shops, the feeling of fall soon approaching, strange boys, rides home in the dark just us, TV shows on DVD, clean room, bed, bed, bed, sleep, sleep, sleep, feeling alive, writing short stories, confusion, moving to the mountains in 3 months, buying baby goats, bee hives, too much homework, and dreaming of what is to come.

PS: RIP MY DEAR FAVORITE FATHER&SON SUNGLASSES (DEATH: BEING CRAMMED INTO MY PURSE + MY SCHOOL BOOKS!)!

2009-03-11T16:56:00.000-07:00

Zombie Girl

my bones feel weak and i am a walking zombie! one that eats off Alex's kisses, sunny days, and 70 degree weather with a hint of a breeze. my days have been filled with The Beatles speaking my heart in words words words, beaut friends who just fill me with some much(!), cheap beer, board games, lost trolleys, streets, summer dresses, runs and walks while the sun hides behind trees and roof tops, Arizona fruit punch, snow bubble tea, darkened restaurants, peaking into expensive apartments pretending we're sleeping on the bed and watching TV in the living room with our shoes off, pretending i know how to write poems and stories, wishing i were Coraline, waiting for Spring break, jonesing for my pajama party on friday, picnics on Saturday, and kickball games on Sunday. "Let's run away! Together arm in arm," i long to tell him under sheets, "I'll drive and keep within the lines, you'll sleep all day and at night we'll stop and kiss under the stars--we'll be the same people in different states but with the same stars above--we can trade names and accents and never grow up! You won't have to be assistant manager and i won't have to pretend to be a good student! Let's go please!" but my words are lost as my alarm clock hits 6:30AM.

Some silly words i strung together that created nothing much:

Kittens

We sleep on the new rug like cats
And wake up with bites going up and down our arms
Perhaps flea bites
Or maybe from our own mouths
Love bits, that should be covered with 5.00 dollars make up
From CVS where all the mothers go while their children are at school
To yell at the balding lady that they have been waiting for 10 minutes to pick up
Their sleeping medicine
And we all watch as she walks away

2009-02-18T18:09:00.000-08:00

MAXED UP WITH STRESS! I FEEL STRANGE, TRIED, OUT OF IT, BORED BORED BORED! SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAM!

i miss Alex, i miss Alex, i miss Alex. i say this to him everyday over telephone wires and loud music, "i miss you, i miss you." i spend my days at school, wanting to be home in bed with him or exploring street corners and random dives, unable to hold information in my mixed up ++ upside down head/brain/cranium! my grades are up! then down! i just need time to breath--any time I find myself sleeping or doing something other than concentrating on school I'm feel gulity. pressure pressure pressure to do well. i don't want to fail.

let's go bowling! let's go see films! let's go buy shit! i lust lust lust for knickknacks for the house, clothing, delicious healthy food, gifts for my babylovebugz, a hair cut, flowers, and time time time! i repeat in threes.

i think i need to stop smoking so much hookah and Maryjane & i think i need my lovely friends in my life more.

2009-02-10T17:20:00.000-08:00

I LOVE MY BOYFRIEND BECAUSE;
-he came home with 3 surprises: he got me 3 hello kitty watches from McDonald's & he just bought the watches and didn't get food or anything.
-he held my hand all morning long in court
-he's taking me to the park today & to get Popsicle
-he told me how he was of me proud and that i was so brave
-he is always there for me
-he lets me call him redic names such as babylovebugz!
-we watch It's always Sunny in Philadelphia all day errrrday!
-and numerous of other things but the sun is calling my name and the blue sky is ready to eat me up whole!

oh man Alejandro Sanchez you got my heart goin CRAZY with love!

PS: it's fucking February and i get to wear this [!] :

days days days : daze daze daze

2009-02-08T20:06:00.001-08:00

summer air, spring wind, winter month, Pullen Park, Whole Foods picnic, burritos and mini cupcakes, beaut friend, Popsicle, windows down, hungry trees eating blue sky, stuck in branches, arms arching to climb, children's stories, adult conversations, court woes, homework done, roman history llullaby, open windows, fans on high, Jack in the Box, films, mellowing, hookahing, valentines day tomorrow, Coraline 3D, gas station food, rosary bead eyes.

oh AND! PS/BTW! ily ily ily ily:

rock of love girlz.

2009-02-01T04:58:00.001-08:00

at the moment i am attempting to write a paper for my Sociology of the Family class but am failing miserably and terribly. the people upstairs are playing terrible music and sound as though they are skate boarding across their floor. i hear cars passing by outside and am banking on finding a rides to Sean's house, hopefully. my favorite film is playing on the television, coals are being made for a hookah, and droopy is sleeping nearby. life is lovely. however, i am jonesing for the road, to attempt to dance at the Streetlight show, sunny days, slushies, art museums, Cup a Joe chocolate milk and/or coffee, fresh air & cool breeze, tan arms and legs, and all these lovely things i have found!

for alex's side of the bed:

for mine:

must get many of these to put around my room:

STAR WARS & LUSHIES!

2009-01-29T17:48:00.001-08:00

ohhh, Arizona Fruit Punch how i love that you are only $.99 and full of Vitamin C & with All Nature Flavors! ohhh, how happy i am that tomorrow is PAY DAY and STAR WARS DAY and that i am playing rebel and not going to school tomorrow. this is due to the fact that for the past few days i have only seen my boyfriend in bed with awkward knees and under chemical/fake lightening aka at 11:00pm at night. how good it will feel to have money in my pocket since we are at $00.00 and i could not even afford a $3.00 show down the street from my house. i cannot wait to see MILK with my mother on Saturday and walk a few miles to the library, hopefully with a Cup a Joe VANILLA THUNDERSTORM in hand, and my new leggings on my legs. && i cannot wait for tomorrow night Star Wars on the television Ewoks running crazy and Jawas speaking my language with pillows thrown across the floor and my babylove so near, hand in hand. i can easily and happily say that i am so very happy with my life: although i stress out too terribly about school, get lonely here and there, suffer from leaky ceilings and overflowing sinks, and am dirt poor--however, nothing can be perfect and OH FUCK! do i love so very much.

SUPERJAIL <3 & other various lovely things

2009-01-28T10:14:00.000-08:00

love.

seconds! minutes! hours! they slip by too quickly! so many things to look forward too & so many things that have me sinking. I'm drowning and February 9th is my anchor keeping me under! i have to go to COURT because this girl is saying i hit her and fucked up her eye so I'm being charged with SIMPLE ASSAULT. i never touched her. her boyfriend said some horrible things to me that resulted in me crying and running out into the rain while my sister stayed behind and poured beer on them and that is the end of the story, but somehow they feel fine with lying to a court and wasting a day and they have my nerves goin' crazy!

however, friday is STARWARZ night and buffalo wings and pillows all over the floor! February 3rd I'm driving to Charlotte with my babylove and friends to see STREETLIGHT MANIFESTO! skank skank skank!

2009-01-22T18:20:00.000-08:00

this is my boyfriend Alex & i. he's got me falling and falling for over 810 days and we've been holding hands for even longer.

2009-01-21T18:28:00.000-08:00

internet has now arrived at my lovely little home just as the snow slowly melted away. as of now i am drinking a Beer & trying to understand my excel lab that is due on Friday at 10:OO AM!! what the fuck @ school, srsly. i miss my English lit class reading Emerson, Poe, Whitman, Dickinson. i just want to stay curled in bed reading Neruda listening to The Beatles, Newsome, and others. or i lust to be surrounded by friends on a Friday night it hitting 2AM running around Hillsborough Street laughing and playing on darken Church playgrounds, which i did a few weekends ago with Christina. but where have all my friends gone? remember friday always meant Sean's house getting drunk and passing out on his uncomfortable couch for one, playing kings. i want us to GET TOGETHER! we have grown up but lets not grow too far away. i want to take a road trip to see Streetlight! nights ago we were stoned and silly watching the snow fall, running around the house, tying up laces, digging the way the street was bare and how we could run in it. digging the snow on our faces and our hands linked. moments, moments say in my brain forever. i will love you always with your smooth face and awkward knees in bed under black sheets. i am forever grateful that you are mine for always.

2008-12-17T05:43:00.001-08:00

exams DONE! xmas break begins now! which means time for Polar Express 3D, pot luck @ Sean's where all my lovelies and beauts will become terribly smashed and faded, Gabe is here, xmas shopping, sugar cookies, xmas films, new years eve @ Kent House Revisted II for my friends house show, late nights, sleeping late, and ohhhh man!

2008-12-10T10:25:00.000-08:00

life is pretty dreamy! i've been a little recluse & hiding out in my little white apartment with my beaut boyfriend, my too skinny puppy, & hookah. however, my days of hiding out are over! last night was lovely. me and alex got our first mini baby little christmas tree, hung the few ortaments we have [star wars, alex's of course], ate rosemary bread, watched Batman, mellowed & enjoyed arms! legs! eyes! lips! eyelashes! oh man! tomorrow i have the day off and will enjoy it with Kacie aimlessly walking the streets possibly Cup a Joe & The Fresh Market! i'm excited.

work calls! ew.

2008-09-22T09:59:00.000-07:00

some random snaps of lovlies bein' lush @ my bash!

my lovely twin sister!

the boyfriends!

boyfriend's brother & my sister!

shot gun!

we ran around all night saying "i die! i die!" drinking cheap beer and smoking cheap weed. friday is video game night @ our house. i slept late today--through 2 classes and all i wanted to do was keep sleeping next to alex and our dog inbetween us. last night he kissed me just as a train was passing by our apartment--as he kissed me i saw us running away in a train kissing for always to some un known destanation. i need to stop wishing us gone but it's so easy to just run away from school and work. all i need is him, the road, some weed, some good music, some books, some barefeet, and some gas. let's go!

BEERaTHON

2008-09-18T06:10:00.000-07:00

here are some pictures from the BEERaTHON which was silly and redicoulous all at once and a lovely night.

me being silly

my babylove

tomorrow is Friday which means it's my birthday bash and i'm so excited! i also get paid and am finally going to get a debit card so i can order shit off line such as: gauges, shoes, & boots.
saturday i think i will spend alone walking the streets, sleeping late, getting bubble tea, and watching films.

2008-09-16T05:55:00.000-07:00

i want this:

a HAMBURGER QUESADILLA!
alex bought me so many wonderful things for my bday such as: 2 v-necks, 1 dress, 1 bangle/watch, 1 tank top, and 1 tee-shirt! yesterday was so lovely--so calm and exactly what i wanted. why is beer + pizza the perfect combo? why do i love dumb ass showzz such as "Gossip Girl" & "The Hills" whatev! today is slightly windy with a hint of breeze. i have to work till 8:30 instead of 6:00 tonight and study for a math test but i could care less! my birthday bash is on Friday and i will get to see SO MANY people that i am missing and jonesing for real bad. FUCK YOU CARBS! FUCK YOU SODA! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! BEWARE MOTHERFUCKERS!

2008-09-12T07:05:00.001-07:00

my bones are JUMPING JUMPING JUMPING! my heart is RACING RACING RACING! and my mind is simply MAD for ALEX! @ 12:50 my school day will be over and have work i will be:

PLAYING BINGO with my baby love, kacie, brent, and alicia (and possibly brandon!) i'm overly excited for this. BINGO BINGO BINGO! we might get mellow before hand if we have time to go buy some. afterward movies & drinking at mahh place! saturday is the BEERaTHON @ my sister's boyfriend's yellow house--last year it was the BONGaTHON. i can't wait to jump around on his checkered floor playing beer pong, kings, and other beer games.

next weekend is my birthday party & i plan on wearing this:

and possibly this hat:

or braid my hair a certain way.
i need $ $ $ $! i can't wait to turn 20! i need to dye my hair & get my gauges!

oh life oh life oh life you simply have got me!

x

2008-09-10T08:05:00.001-07:00

shaky knees and orange trees
kisses?
yes please!

this little rhyme i created continues to skip through my brain. i should be studying my Spanish verbs but instead all i can think about is running away. let's just leave! please! long roads will be my study and i will learn the art of hotel rooms and road side gas stations. the art of holding hands while you drive and kissing on an empty road. let's cross the Mexican border and only drink apple and strawberry sodas, eat only tacos and burrtios and quesadillas, you know the language you will be guide. we'll get a farm and only care out the cows and goats and the sound of silence at night. i'll grow my hair long never straighten it--wear shorts every day and get tattoos above my knees.

my legs are moving but i'm planted still.